How to do New Years resolutions the right way

One of the reasons we choose January 1st to embark on new projects and create new goals for ourselves is because it is a natural and universal beginning—but another major reason is because it follows right after a season that can be chaotic and unsettling. Although there are many enjoyable aspects of the holidays, there are also many emotional highs and lows. An absence of the usual routine means less sleep, fewer opportunities to engage in self-care, and more indulgences in unhealthy behavior. Time spent with relatives can be meaningful and joyous, but can also leave us feeling depleted and drained. By the time it's all over, many of us feel relieved to go back to our usual schedule.

So for many reasons, the new year is an obvious time to settle down again, and we’re all feeling a little more motivated to spring into action and set goals.

Why, then, does goal-setting always seem to fall short? Why do we make grand plans in January and forget about them before the end of March? How can we work on creating reasonable, manageable goals that are still meaningful?

Here are some things to keep in mind as we head into 2018:

• Choose goals that are measurable...

Don’t say “I’m going to be a better person in 2018.” This is too vague. How can you measure “better?” Articulate something more specific that you’d like to accomplish: “I’m going to contribute more of my time to others by volunteering at my local community center.”

• ...but manageable.

But also don’t say “I’m going to volunteer every weekend.” Choose something reasonable and manageable that is within your limits: "I will spend a minimum of 6 Saturdays in 2018 doing volunteer work."

• Don't overdo it.

You don't need a list of 20 resolutions. That will only make it harder to follow through. This is an instance where we should prioritize quality over quantity. Choose one, two, or three things that are important to you, meaningful in your daily life, and that you have been thinking about for a while.

• Write them down.

Find a place to physically write out what you’d like to accomplish. This will encourage you to actually think it through and put some planning into it. Put them in a place where you'll actually see them (in other words, don't write them in a journal that you never use). 

• Work together.

Enlist the help of a friend or partner to read or listen to your list so that you can have support in keeping yourself accountable. The more conversations you have about your plans, the more accountable you'll be and the more likely you'll be to follow through.

• Check in regularly.

Make a point of reviewing what you've written down weekly (or even daily). Some plans may need to be revised; that's ok. Check in with yourself and ask the following questions: What have I accomplished and what am I proud of? What needs to be worked on? Is there anything that needs to be changed?

• Don’t get discouraged. 

This is the most important. We are human, and will have days when things don’t go according to plan. Sometimes this can make us feel like throwing out the whole process. Instead, give yourself some room to breathe, get a good night’s sleep, and begin again tomorrow.